Symbols are a universal creation of the human mind. In fact, the argument can be made that we cannot help but create symbols, which are often vital to our well-being and overall psychic health. Symbols also convey complex and hidden meanings that reach far beyond their overt simplicity. Just look to our nightly dreams for an example of how we spontaneously create symbols and their often-powerful impact on our lives. We live in a world of symbols, some borrowed, some created, but all meaningful at many levels.
Those who create symbols and use them effectively are always conveying information that is complex and important. Often, these symbols also provide an understanding of the symbol creator, the kind of information that penetrates deeply into the unconscious motivation of the individual who formed the symbol. Symbol creators are telling us much about themselves, along with the message they wish to convey. They are also offering information that is frequently convoluted and involves a wealth of thoughts and relationships. Symbols, then, are a kind of shorthand to convey an intricate story that contains hidden parts or meanings.
It’s clear that the Zodiac killer was a symbol creator. He fashioned and used symbols in a variety of ways and with a compulsion that is impossible to ignore. His use of symbols also grew, evolved, and became more complex and intricate as he continued to attack his victims and write his missives. Zodiac created obvious symbols in his written communications, sketches, and artwork. He also created symbols in his physical movements and actions. In other words, Zodiac used symbol-creation as a way to communicate his overall message as well as tell us a good deal about himself. For the killer, this kind of creative process was not limited to pen and paper. It spilled over into his physical life and became a part of his movements and actions.
The most obvious of Zodiac’s symbol creations was the infamous “cross-hair” that became his personal signature. For Zodiac, this was a symbol of Self, a unique and powerful public signature that held multiple layers of meaning. Once he placed this symbol into the public consciousness, and linked it directly to his actions, Zodiac staked a claim to that symbol of Self that became a permanent fixture of his journey. No one could misunderstand his use of this symbol and no one could ignore it’s overt meaning. It also contained layers of relevance that spoke to his ferocity, willingness to take risks, and as an ever-present danger to the public. This symbol conveyed fear on a large scale, along with other, less obvious, meanings. It was his most personal and arguably potent symbol-creating effort.
The killer used many different symbols from several disciplines throughout his ciphers. Each symbol was somehow meaningful to the cipher creator, although not necessarily as crucial or important as his Self symbol. However, each of these lesser symbols was chosen for a reason and, therefore, each of them point back to the cipher-creator in some way. When taken together, they tell a story. Overall, the ciphers provide a sort of dictionary of symbols, a collection that was unique to Zodiac. When taken as a whole, they help form a picture of the man who selected those symbols for specific reasons, even if those reasons were not fully conscious at the time they were chosen. To understand their importance, this collection must be viewed in its entirely and not dissected by the use of outside sources alone. In my view, it is a mistake to look only at the symbols Zodiac used to create any single cipher. Each cipher, as a whole, is also a symbol. Each page upon which it was written is a symbol. Taken together, each cipher is a macro-symbol that is both inherently complete and tells a powerful story, including the three-part cipher that so captivated the public. Each was prepared with care. Each conveyed important and specific information.
Zodiac also used symbol-making in several of his crimes. His carefully designed appearance at Lake Berryessa was a powerful example of an individual who was compelled to create a real-life symbol of himself, his presence, and his meaning. This was not simply a disguise. It was the enactment of a symbol-creating process that was designed to convey a powerful meaning. Since it was uncertain (to him, initially) whether or not his victims at Lake Berryessa would survive Zodiac’s attack, it also seems clear that he could have been creating the “disguise” symbols as part of his own overall journey, however one might define that path. The bottom line is that the killer created powerful symbols for the Lake Berryessa attack, symbols that were both worn on his person and scribbled on a victim’s car. These symbols, along with the crime, complete a symbol-making chapter of Zodiac’s overall story.
The Paul Stine murder was also rich in symbolic meaning. Zodiac’s use of the “public” location of Washington and Maple Streets, set alongside the more private actual location of Washington and Cherry Streets, provides a double layer of symbology. This use of symbolism, wherein there are several layers of meaning, is typical of all powerful symbols. In fact, the more powerful the symbol, the more layers of meaning can be discovered. The Stine attack, like the Lake Berryessa attack, was rife with the planned use of symbols. Once again, it was both a self-sustaining chapter of his story as well as a snapshot of his persona and motivation at that time. When the chapters of the Zodiac story are assembled from the viewpoint of symbol-creating, they provide us with a remarkably detailed portrait of the man and his crimes.
It is impossible to give the subject of Zodiac’s symbol-creating compulsion the full discussion it deserves in the confines of a short article. There are so many nuances that lie behind this kind of behavior and its potential importance to the Zodiac story. The most vital point is to keep in mind that symbol-creation remains a critical component in the Zodiac saga. His communications, his ciphers, his doodling and greetings, along with his actions, form the Zodiac story as he wished it to be known. It must be viewed in its entirely and as a self-supporting system rather than as a collection of borrowed items. Not doing so has led to many misunderstandings about this man.
There have been a few attempts to address this issue but, in my view, each has failed for a simple reason: Each has attempted to assign specific meaning to the Zodiac symbol collection by referencing individual symbols to outside, impersonal definitions. In fact, it seems that Zodiac created his own treasury of symbols that are self-defining, complete within themselves. Even though it is easy to believe that Zodiac borrowed most of his symbols from outside sources for the sake of convenience, he actually created his own symbolic litany that was self-supporting and holistic unto itself. The key to understanding Zodiac’s use of symbols is to understand them within their own context, within the scope of how Zodiac created and used them.
So, in order to approach an understanding of how and why Zodiac created his treasury of symbols, and what they truly mean, one has to start at the beginning. By examining his movements, his actions, as well as the more obvious use of symbols, one can see how Zodiac created and evolved his use of personally meaningful symbols, and how informative and complex they became. It is like the unfolding of a story within a story, except that the words are replaced by symbols, and the use of these symbols points directly back at their creator.
The next time you study one of Zodiac’s symbol-ridden works, such as a greeting card or an unsolved cipher, try to view it as a self-supporting, self-sustaining chapter in his own story. Take his work for what it is, within itself, as a first approach. Try to work out the meaning of the chapter as Zodiac wrote it, then move on to the next chapter of symbols. As one very small example from Zodiac’s ciphers, view his Self-symbol for what it is, not merely as a character subject to substitution. View its importance and interpretation in the way the author of the cipher originally intended. When taken as a complete body of work, these chapters of symbols form an amazingly complete picture of the man who, in all probability, wanted us to understand him much better than we do today.
DEAR Mr Kelleher:
I refer you to the COUNT MARCO letter of 8 JULY 1974 to the San Francisco CHRONICL and specifically to lines 6 and 7. The ZODIAC PROJECT clearly imparts EINSTEIN’s famous dictum: E=mc2.
On line 6 the C letter that begins the word COUNT is overly extended downwards into the same letter of the same word on line 7. The conjoining appears to construct a large E that traverses both lines (6 and 7.)
EQUAL or = is obtained from, again, lines 6 and 7. If the reader pays strict attention to the positions of the word COUNT on lines 6 and 7, they are practically above each other. If the two conjoined Cs are extricated from both words we are twice left with the truncated “OUNT”. They are both the same. One truncated word equals the other.
So, E=? Well, M is found as the initial letter of the word MARCO on line 6. Have we discovered E=M? Obviously.
And the equational C is discovered from the word “CAN” on line 7.
The “SQUARED” or “2” is graphically incomplete. But it can be deduced from the letter “I” on line 7 which resembles or can be substituted for the Roman numeral one ie I, II, III…. The dash appears to be, well, a dash.
Within the COUNT MARCO letter the ZODIAC PROJECT has been hidden in plain sight one of the most recognizable equations in modern science. Why? What could lie behind this piece of surreptitious symbolism? Obviously not a moronic mind. I do not also think that self deprecation was the reason behind all those misspelt words and poor grammar the ZODIAC PROJECT seemed so fond of.
PLEASE feel free to share this information with your readership and could you be kind enough to PLEASE this reply to Ray Grant and Michael Cole.
Kind regards and keep up the good work
Erwin Makinde | email@example.com | 15 OCTOBER 2012
POSTSCRIPT: Let’s look for more clues and you must factor into any and all things ZODIAC that, in all likelihood, it must have been more than one person at work.
I don’t mean to be rude here, but this is a little over -the-top! Why would Zodiac or team Zodiac hide that in their letter? To say he/them are really smart? Must have been a personal thing, because no one has ever come up with that before. I just don’t know what the purpose would be. I’m all for creative thinking, but this..?
Hi Mr K,
The topic of symbolism is a challenging one. I agree with your proposition that these symbols can “provide an understanding of the symbol creator” and that they can help reveal “the kind of information that penetrates deeply into the unconscious motivation of the individual who formed the symbol.” But it seems like a daunting challenge.
The problem is that the puddle of one man’s hypervomitory eruption of symbolism becomes another man’s Rorshach test. When we try to impose order on one man’s symbolism, we superimpose our own symbolism over it. When we try to shine a light on somebody else’s unconscious, we put a spotlight on our own.
[It’s as if we attempt to put somebody else’s private sextape on the web, but somehow end up posting our own. You have to hate it when that happens.]
I am exaggerating, of course, but my point remains valid: the biggest challenge to analyzing the Zodiac Killer’s conscious and unconscious symbolism is the Z-analyst’s own conscious and unconscious symbolism.
We each project onto the Zodiac Killer certain preconceptions as to how he thinks, what kind of individual he is, what kind of killer he was. And those preconceptions are bound by the gravity of our own unconscious motivations and fears and cravings–the very motives that bind us to this research. Our craving for recognition; our desire to see ourselves as somebody accomplished and capable, hunters of a legendary serial killer–the list goes on. And, as a generality, the more brilliant we are, the greater the power of our projections, the more we are at risk of chasing a Z of our own creation.
That is the bad news, but it may also be the basis for good news.
The problem that most needs solving is to find methodologies that allows us to analyze the Zodiäc Kiïller’s symbolism. The question that most needs an answer is “How can we analyze Z’s symbols?”
You have provided some hints in your article above. I would suggest we also need to recognize the potential of our own unconscious to obscure our understanding of the meaning of Z’s symbols. We may not be able to eliminate observer influence, but we can at least recognize it, and make such an examination a part of our methodology.
In the case of my own theorizing, I have worked on a theory for just less than a year now that has focused primarily on an interpretation of Z’s use of symbols. I found it an extremely daunting task because it is hard to come up with any objective criteria for deciding if a given interpretation of Z’s symbols has any validity–perhaps impossible.
As I pursued my theory, I discovered many curious coincidences that seemed to constantly pull me deeper in the direction of my theory.
One the one hand, that is a very encouraging feeling. It can be very exhilarating to see clues that seem to be like friendly monkeys, leaping out of the trees to direct you along a path that points toward a destination that seemed wild and speculative just moments before.
But, on the other hand, it is very disconcerting to ask yourself, in a moment of doubt, “Where did these clues really come from?” If it turns out they are not result of brilliant inferences and outferences on my part–if I wasn’t having a field day running through the corridors of John Malkovich’s mind while he played the role of the Zodiac Killer–then whose mind was it that produced all those intricately i terlinked clues that I have been chasing for just under a year? Have I been chasing my own subconscious?
[And, if I was, what am I supposed to do with it if I catch it?]
It’s late. I should have been to bed hours ago. I will stop here. But a final word before I climb the stairs: you are right, Mr K, about the importance and potential of symbolism to the goal of understanding Z’s true qualities. The question is, can we define a rational method for analyzing those symbols? What is the best we can do?
Many thanks for the article.
By the way, this is a particularly busy time of year for me, so I expect to be on hiatus from most things Zodiac until some time in the new year.
You raised the point that is most often a stumbling point for those who work with any kind of symbolism. It is not a completely rational process and there are multiple layers of meaning involved. See Jung and the post-modern Jungian schools for more on this issue. However, it is still a form of communication that is capable of being understood and interpreted.
I used the example of Zodiac’s Self symbol in the article because it is a good starting point for this kind of journey. See where it appears, its different forms, its various uses in the ciphers (such as the “my name is”) and it begins to fall together with some clarity. Again, take any single communication or piece of artwork as a mega-symbol comprised of his other symbols. Anyway, it’s far too complex of a subject to cover in a short article. Perhaps it was not such a good idea to dangle the idea without giving it the proper space for explanation. I apologize for any confusion.
Bottom line, for me, is that there is a lot to be learned about his symbolism and there are techniques out there to do so, for those who wish to pursue such a convoluted path.
Have a good “winter break” and be well.
Hi Mr K,
Although it is too complex a subject to cover in a short article, we have to start somewhere. It’s a very important topic, so I am glad you raised it.
In my view, there are two broad subdomains of Z-research. The first tends to focus on more traditional clues, like DNA, fingerprints, timelines, witness accounts, and pretty much follows any trail that promises to put us safely on a path to deductive reasoning, where the conclusions have an objective and satisfying feel.
The other domain concerns itself with the highly symbolic aspects of the Zodiac Killer’s opus enigmatica. This is the area we are talking about now. It is where we try to ascribe meaning to Z’s myriad symbols, and to things we suppose are symbols. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to render a lot of opportunities for the nice concrete, objective, deductive chains of reasoning that we hope for in a murder mystery.
In an ideal world, we would have the luxury of focusing on the first domain and ignoring the latter. The latter favors the killer. In the first direction lies sanity. In the other, subjectivity, quixotic thinking and madness. (Which explains my particular version of brain damage.)
Unfortunately, in the Zodiac Killer universe of discourse, there is a dearth of clues from the first domain that have the potential for bringing this mystery to an end. If we could have solved this mystery on forensics and deductive reasoning alone, we wouldn’t still be talking about it 40-some years later.
It comes down to this: we need to find ways to make sense of the symbols and riddles. Otherwise, we might as well give up and wait for a confession, or the next I-solved-it book. Fortunately, Z left no shortage of clews for the second domain. All that is lacking is a reliable methodology to analyze them.
It sounds like you see a definite approach for how to attack this problem. I look forward to reading more.
Until the New Year,
I BELIVE I WORKED WITH THIS KILLER……… HE ONCE TOLD ME (( NOW I HAVE A GUN PERMITT AND NOW I CAN LEGILY KILL SOMEONE AND GET AWAY WITH IT )). HE WAS A USMC SNIPER IN NAM AND (SAID HE HAD BEEN SHOT IN THE NECK) A SMALL DIP IS ON ONE SIDE OF HIS NECK. HE HAS GLASSES. THE PHOTOS OF THE KILLER WOULD HAVE BEEN WHAT I FEEL HE LOOKED LIKE IN THE LATE 60’s…AS A GUY IN NAM, EVEN YOUNG…. LOOKED 10 YEARS OLDER AFTER A LONG SERVICE THERE. THE GUY IS VERY SMART AND CAN CONVENCE PEOPLE OF ANYTHING. HE WORKS ON OLD CAR AND KNOWS ALL ABOUT CARS AND WORKS IN ELECTRICAL AND MECH. MAINTENANCE. HE LOVES MATH PROBLEMS AND I HAVE SEEN HIM AT WORK ON A DRY ERASE BOARD DOING NUMBERS AND PROBLEMS WITH SUPPERVISER AND PLANT MAINTENANCE ENG. TO SHOW HOW SMART HE IS AS A GAME. HE NEVER LIKED ME AS I DIDENT LIKE HIM. HE IS VERY SNEEKY. EVEN PARKING AT NIGHT IN THE DARK OUT BACK OF THE PLANT OUT OF SIGHT , WATCHING ME…. AS I WAS THERE ALONE. THE BUSNESS WHERE HE PARKED ASKED ME IF I KNEW WHO HAD BEEN PARKING IN THE GRASS AT THE WOODS AT NIGHT, I SAID NOTHING. HE HAD TOLD ME HE WAS IN CALIFORNIA IN THE LATE 60’s…. AFTER BEING BACK FROM NAM. OR JUST IN THE MILITARY….HIS HAND WRIGHTING LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE SAME. IF YOU LOOK AT ALOT OF THE KILLERS LETTERS…. SEE THE SOUTHERN WORDS, ECT. THIS GUY NEVER USES THE WORD AINT. HE HAS NO STRONG SOUTHERN SOUND TO HIS VOICE. HE ONCE TOLD ME HE HAD SHOT OR SHOT AT TWO BOYS RUNNING FROM HIS GARAGE AT HIS HOUSE…. I DONT KNOW HOW TRUE THIS IS…….BUT HE DID SAY HE WAS FRIENDS WITH SEVERAL POLICE OFFICERS THAT LIVED CLOSE TO HIM….. I SAW WHAT LOOKED JUST LIKE HIS TRUCK TURN AROUND IN MY 1/4 MILE LONG DRIVE ON MY OUTSIDE CAMERA ONE DAY, I GOT TO THE DOOR AND IT WAS GONE. AFTER THAT …..HE ONCE TOLD ME AT WORK ONE DAY AT WORK…. HELLO NABOR…. AND HE LIVES AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY FROM ME…. AS I LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS WITH NO HOUSES IN SITE……HE WAS ALWAS TRYING TO SCARE ME IN SOME WAY OR GET ME IN TROUBLE SOME HOW. HE IS VERY FLEXABLE FOR HIS AGE AS HE SHOWED AT WORK HE WOULD EVEN WALK UP TO ME AND SAY..((THAY PUT IN HIDDEN CAMERAS TO SEE WHAT YOU DO HERE ALONE AT NIGHT)) A VERY SMART, BUT SICK TYPE OF CRAZY PERSON …HE IS IN HIS (LATE 50’s) HE IS AROUND ((6′-6’5)) MEDIUM IN SIZE…..HE HAS THE SAME SMALL NOSE BRIDGE AND SMALL TIP OF THE NOSE ALWAYS THE SAME TYPE OF SHORT HAIRCUT….WHEN HE GET’S MAD HIS EYES LOOK LIKE EASTWOODS EYES , WHEN HE GETS MAD IN SOME OF HIS MOVIES….((((SEE: PAIL RIDER))))…JUST NOT A GOOD FEELING TO BE AROUND THAT TYPE OF EYES….I CAN GET HIS (((DNA))) AS HE GO’S OUT TO THE SMOKING AREA, THERE IS A BUTT CAN. JUST NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO SEND IT TO BE CHECKED………. AS HE HAS NEVER BEEN IN JAIL FOR A BIG CRIME, HAVING A GUN PERMITT TO CARRY… NO ONE HAS HIS ((DNA)) YET. THIS WILL TELL IT ALL. FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME.
I THINK THE Z KILLER IS A VERY SMART AND CUNNING PERSON. HE NEEDED THE POLICE TO THINK HE WAS A CRAZED KILLER, TO SEND THEM LOOKING AWAY FROM HIM. I THINK HE WAS USED TO KILLING AND LIKED IT AND FELT ALOT OF HATE FOR BEING TURNED INTO A KILLER DUE TO NAM. WAR. HE FELT HE HAD LOST HIS SOUL BY THE KILLINGS IN THE WAR ANYWAYS, SO WHY NOT KEEP ON KILLING TO PAY SOCIATY BACK FOR WHAT HE FELT THAY MADE HIM DO AND TURNED HIM INTO……(( DRAFTED INTO THE NAM. WAR)) HE WAS A LONER IN HIS YOUNGER YEARS WITH TIME TO PLAY WITH NUMERS, READING OLD BOOKS….. AS HIS LETTERS SEEM TO POINT OUT.(( SEE FILE 11)) LIKE A POEM. HE WAS ALSO USED TO BLOOD….. HUNTER AND OR MILITARY. TAPING A FLASHLIGHT TO A GUN…. COON HUNTER HUNTS AT NIGHT OR A POCHER HUNTS AT NIGHT. HE KILLS WITH A POCKET KNIFE… HUNTERS LIKE TO USE ONE TO SKIN LARGE AND SMALL ANIMALS, LESS CHANCE OF CUTTING THE HIDE. SO HE GREWUP HUNTING AND NOT A CITY BOY. HE KNEW HOW TO DISABLE A CAR QUICK….. PULL OFF THE COIL WIRE (( CAR WILL NOT CRANK FOR SURE )) HOW DID HE OPEN THE HOOD OF THE CAR IF IT WAS LOCKED TO GET TO THE COIL?? CRAWL UNDER AND KNOW WHERE THE COIL WAS ON THAT TYPE OF CAR… KNOW HOW TO POP THE HOOD FROM OUTSIDE THE LOCKED CAR. HE TOLD ALL ABOUT HIS SELF IN HIS LETTERS AND CRIMES. EVEN MAKING A CRIPTED LETTER GIVING A FALSE NAME OF WHO WAS DOING THE KILLINGS. HE NEVER TARGETED A COP…. DID HE LIKE COPS. … EVEN IF HE WAS PLAYING GAMES WITH THEM. THINGS LIKE ………(((( THINGMEBOB, WACHAMACALLIT, WHATSHISNAME AND TUT…TUT…TUT)))).. ARE THINGS WE HAVE HERE IN THE SOUTH. MORE SO IN THE OLD DAYS. WAS THIS A CLEVER CLUE ALONG WITH THE INTENTIONAL LACK OF ((AINT))) IN HIS LETTERS??? I THINK THE REASON ALL OF THE KILLINGS STOPED DUE TO MOVING BACK TO HIS HOME TOWN… AS PEOPLE HE KNEW, HE WOULD BE LESS LIKLEY TO DO ANY OF THE KILLINGS AND KNOWING HE WOULD NOT BE IN HIS HUNTING GROUND ((AS A HUNTER))THAT LONG, NO CHANCE OF HUNTING ANY ONE HE MIGHT KNOW OR WHO WOULD KNOW HIM…. HE DID ALL OF HIS KILLING AWAY FROM HOME IN CALIFORNIA AND THE WAR. SO THAT HIS HOME AREA WOULD NEVER BE A SUBJECT OF SEARCH. HE ALWAYS KNEW SOUTH-EAST-WEST-NORTH AS WOULD A SNIPER. HE ALWAYS HAD HIGH DETAIL AS WOULD A SNIPER. WOULD YOU STOP TO FIGURE DIRECTION JUST AFTER A KILLING OR TWO, TO FIGURE DIRECTIONS OF THE BODYS, POLICE CARS, AREAS WHERE YOU RUN FROM THE LAW… NO, ONLY MILITARY PEOPLE. THE MIND IS USED AS A COMPASS WITH THE EYES. GET THE USMC SNIPERS MANUAL FROM THE BOOK STORE AND IT WILL SHOW YOU, HE WAS ONE , HOW THAY LAY OUT THE TARGET AND TERANE AND FIND LAND MARKS FOR DIRECTIONS… ((MOVEMENT ..SEE GARILLA WARFARE TACTICS))THIS IS HOW HE SO EASLY GOT AWAY……YOUR NORMAL RUN OF THE MILL COPS WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN THIS TYPE OF MILITARY TRANING OF THE 60’s…. I THINK MOST OF HIS RAMBELINGS WAS FOR IF HE WAS FOUND, HE COULD SAY HE WAS TEMP. CRAZY TO GET OFF LIGHT. BUT HE DID TELL ALOT ABOUT WHO HE WAS AND WHY. READ IT AS IF IT WAS FROM A SMART PERSON WHO IS SAIN TRYING TO FOOL SOMEONE, AND YOU’LL SEE. HE WAS SO AT EASE WALKING UP TO COPS JUST AFTER A KILL , TO TELL THIM A GUY HAD RUN PAST HIM WITH A GUN….WOULD TELL ME HE HAD BEEN USED TO REPORTING ON A FRESH KILL…. (((SEE: CALOS HATHCOCK…. 96 CONFERMED KILLS -BOOK))) HATHCOCK WROTE ALOT OF BOOKS ON NAM’S USMC SNIPER PROGRAM HE HAD REINSTATED IN THE NAM WAR. YET….HE WOULD NOT TAKE A MAN THAT HAD GLASSES. COULD THIS FAILER HAVE BEEN LIKE REJECTION TO THE KILLER… A WANTABE SNIPER. HE NEVER USED A SCOPED RIFLE TO KILL.(( 30/06 cal)) YET HE KNEW ALL ABOUT THAT TYPE OF KILLING ( ON SHOT-ONE KILL) THE KILLER EVEN POINTS OUT HEAD SHOTS IN HIS KILLINGS. COULD HE HAVE BEEN SHOWING HE WAS AS GOOD WITH THE HAND GUN??………………..
Please don’t use all caps. Many people find such comments difficult to read and hence won’t even bother…
Your exploratory is interesting, but in reality the zodiac was an application.
Let me tell you how I came to the conclusion that it was Dr. George Hill Hodel. I used to think it was Jack Tarrance. But I think a lot of these types can be counted on to fit the bill. I found a copy of Steve Hodel’s book “Most Evil” a month or so ago and reluctantly began to read it. I thought “Oh no, not another man who thinks his dad did it.” But as I began to read it: I recognized his father’s picture on page 19 and the fact that I had already written some of the information in the book! In 1989 I called police for help and was sent to the Army Hospital who after leaving me outside in the dark, thank you!, they sent me to Natividad’s mental wing. Well, that didn’t stop the calls and I started to write for 20 years. See, I was a little ticked off because I lost my children over this. My life was hell to start with. Now I would like someone’s help since I’ve already asked for it from the people who should help me. Maybe they were waiting for me to get my memories back. What is the link between me and Dr. Hodel? Was 173 Bataan Rd. Ft. Ord on a radion or whatever its called. I don’t have a lot of awe for a man who wears a grocery bag on his head with glasses over it to look more like a geek. This man called me and tried to impress me and all I could think of was the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy for the Devil.” My ex husband’s family leased some land in the Northern Mariana Islands to a Japanese company. One aunt was mad at me and one of the uncles made “business trips” to Hong Kong and then Hodel moved to San Francisco from Hong Kong. The family lawyers were in San Francisco. Also it seems I needed a good shrink. Hodel? Also, I am wondering if any of these killings were actual hits and some other victims were killed just to cover up that fact. My ex had a problem with the General and won out. One of the other Army wives told me that there was a lot of buzz out there that the Zodiac Killer was back in San Francisco in 1990. I was telling the caller that the school buses don’t even run on Saturday. Another thing: how would Hodel have known that someone survived the Glory Hole at Lake Berryessa? Who was the “lady” calling me saying their insurance doesn’t cover it?
I personally don’t give a damn if anybody believes me or not. Maybe they’d like to see a picture of where my appendix isn’t and the fact that I’ve never had an appendectomy is incredible too. It took me about 20 years to remember the descent into the abyss and another 5 to remember the second half. I’m not a good swimmer but I am a great floater. You wouldn’t be the picture of mental health if you were married to my first husband either. I don’t remember being thrown in. I hope I didn’t do something like try to save a duck. Maybe he made good on his threats to kill me. Oh, it was worth it just to see the look on everybody’s faces. I think some people from Tennessee took me home. I could only remember that I came from NC and what my address was in CA. I didn’t know Joe. I called him Roscoe and I didn’t know my kids and I got right back in there and took care of them even though I thought I was 14. My friend/his girlfriend fainted and something I never ever forgot was his Army buddy telling me to go into the yard and (with ketchup on my face) yell “I am immortal!” in case the neighbors did it. It’s looking really bad for those 3. My husband’s reaction was to tell me that I should be in hell because that’s where people that commit suicide go. No human being can survive that…I am no daredevil alright. Let us establish that. Now I did look for the Zodiac symbol in magazines before Steve Hodel did. And I quickly moved on to hang out with the JFK assassination researchers once I was back in NC. The late Professor Robert Cutler said that in my case there was no such thing as mental illness and my mind was doing what it need to do to help me survive. A man once fell out of an airplane with no parachute and lived. Miracles happen and sometimes the conditions are just right. So what is the protocol for surviving ?! I found the JFK people to be very nice but they did tell me I was in the wrong group. My letters talked of someone being a child prodigy, someone wanting to be a doctor, we were seen in the yard and he called us “Indians” etc. I used to hate Kissinger and I was like “Why?!” and now I can see Hodel with his Kissinger glasses and his wavy hair. So by 2002 I get disability and for PTSD and why not schizophrenia? Why is it so hard for me to find a shrink? You need to read about Dr. Hodel. It doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out that he was smarter, richer, and more socially connected than Albert Einstein. Just the parts of his life MINUS THE SERIAL KILLER PART seem UNBELIEVABLE! I know you have heard the saying TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION! It really is. Yes, I am on medication. Good for old George that he could find a mentally ill domestic violence survior to pick on in his old age. He has that star out there named after him well its IN OUTER DARKNESS. Thank you Jesus! I figured I fell in the abyss is what I call the Glory Hole. And I thought I was at the Bull Hole which was a pretty backwoods place in the Piedmont of NC. You get disoriented enough going down into it that you think you are a fish, in case you are wondering what its like. No one would want to remember that. I think the people who found me were from Tennessee. They said “Where did you come from? We didn’t see you go in there?!” I said “North Carolina.” Then they said they came from Tennessee but not like that! My hair would grow in brown instead of blonde which was disappointing to me. I was sunburnt looking and scraped up and so much water would come out of my ears. My hair still falls out a lot but all the glass and stuff I would comb out and wonder if I had been in a car wreck or something. I figure it was around or after April 1988. My sister had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and my friend (who tried to take my husband for the money) stayed with my children while I went home to NC for a short time. Maybe it was around the 30th because the threatening calls came from I believe Hodel on the anniversary of the accident the next year. Now maybe he thought if some woman survived the Glory Hole at Lake Berryessa she was an early victim who had come back to haunt him? Even smart people do stupid things. Could some of his victims just be liability for the state of California. Well, he set up Steve Hodel to be an officer with LAPD so he could tell people like me that he was “untouchable.” And my life was supposed to be a “Greek Tragedy.” Well, I am very determined that it not be any kind of tragedy no matter how difficult it has been. Hey, this is the tip of the iceberg. Oh, my first husband used to chase me with a lighter and a spray can. The government would later put him in charge of emergency management.
Loved the explanation, the human mind is more mysterious than the own zodiac, analyzes like these should always be considered in investigations and in analysis of behavior, individual or collective.
I was wondering about the name Dick Gaik being on the post card from your secret pal