Day #6 – Monday – July 1, 1974
You Wives Don’t Own Your Husbands
If you’re a do-it-yourself “lawyer” you might believe that possession is nine tenths of the law, which in far too many cases is not only untrue but illegal. You may possess a thing or an object and you yourself might even be possessed, as in the film “The Exorcist.”
But you can’t possess another person.
I often overhear wives snapping shrewishly at their husbands: “Will you stop doing that?” “How many times do I have to remind you…You never listen to me.”
You don’t own him, you know, just because you married him. He’s an individual and has certain rights over which you should not expect to have any control. He’s also an adult, and no matter how childish you may think he acts, if he wants to behave that way – then leave him alone.
It’s one thing to be concerned about what he does and the impression he makes, but you don’t improve matters by showing disgust. Even within the privacy of your own home – especially before children or relatives – don’t degrade him, or yourself, with malicious downgrading of his character.
You may refinish a piece of furniture, move it about at will or even trade it in because you own it. But you must remember that there’s quite a difference between having a man and owning one.
When you begin to think you own him, he will decide to trade you in.
Interestingly, this particular Count Marco column was published right alongside a wedding announcement, complete with a picture of the bride. I’m sure she really appreciated that!